Safe Harbor

Artist Statement For this assignment, we had to adapt a piece of text into a series of photographs. I chose the quote “I wasn’t becoming someone new—I was finally shedding what never fit,” from the A24 film I Saw the TV Glow. My idea was to show the complexities of challenging gender norms in society. Specifically, for this project, I chose one of my close friends to be the subject. She is someone who is currently experimenting with her gender identity, so I wanted to capture what that looks like in her life. I asked her, “How did your confidence differ from your feminine side versus your masculine side?” Her response- “The feminine side accentuated the parts of my body that I am most insecure about causing my self-esteem to be low. My masculine side gave the illusion that my boobs were smaller, which increased my confidence. I also felt that the clothes and make up I was wearing were more flattering. With my feminine side you could see all the crevices on my body, and I did not feel like myself.” I then asked her, “Why do you think your masculine side portrayed you in a more confident light?” Her response- ”I think it flattered my features more. I feel like it fits my personal aesthetic better and matches my personality more than my feminine side does.” I followed that question up with, “Did you think it was easier to pose for the camera while feeling more masculine? And Why?” Her response- “Yes, because I felt more comfortable about the way I looked. When I felt more feminine, there was an increased pressure to look a certain way. My face looked good the way I contoured it to look more masculine, and my hair looked like the typical way I style it.” My last question for her was, “How is this project going to influence the way you see yourself from now on?” Her response- “It definitely made me realize that I need to stop dressing for the male gaze and doing my makeup for the male gaze, and for male validation when really, I only need my validation. I need to be happy with the way that I look and not care about how other people perceive me. I always had a feeling that I was more comfortable masculine, but I felt that people wanted me to look more feminine. After the photoshoot and seeing the photographs, that validated how I felt about my masculine look. I looked happier and saw more of who I truly am.” I chose to photograph this project in the studio. I didn’t want any background to cause distraction in the photographs. The poses, outfits, lighting, and facial expressions were enough to encapsulate the essence of what I wanted to display. While photographing, I left it open for my friend to choose her poses and outfits, because I wanted her to have full control of how she chose to express herself. I didn’t want to influence her physical appearance for this project. I wanted to be there to give artistic expression influence and to put her in the forefront. Overall, I am very pleased with how this project turned out. I think the images really tell the story my friend and I wanted to tell. Personally, while photographing, I felt confident in my ability to convey the message of the project. From an outside perspective I could see how much more confident my friend felt while portraying her masculine side. It was fascinating to feel the difference in assurance and certainty that radiated from her based on switches in makeup and clothing while encouraging her to have full control of those changes and experiment based on her own accord. This topic and issue aren’t addressed a lot in common society, and I wanted to be a person who could help bring the issue more awareness. I hope that these photographs can inspire people who are also struggling with self-identity to feel more comfortable expressing and experimenting with their individuality.